N e w D i r e c t i o n.

Recognize when it's time for change.

First year was a bit of a blur for me. 

Hi, my name is Aceani Michelle, and I am getting ready to begin my second year at Kent State University as a fashion design major. 

My first year did not go exactly as I expected it to. Going into freshman year, I was full of excitement , motivation, and purpose. However, I lost control going into second semester. 

[Inside thoughts: In high school I accomplished so much like going to Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, working on new photoshoots for the magazine, producing my collections, and more….but college, college is consuming my life. I feel as though I have yet to make my mark here and I get that it’s only been a couple months and Im in uncharted territory, but Im not used to this empty feeling I have. At first I just didn’t get it. I completely lost motivation and I didn’t understand why because if there is anything I excel in the most its determinations and self-motivation, but here I just can’t breathe. I don’t feel like myself. I’m not the great Aceani Michelle everyone always talked about and looked up to at home. This girl i’ve become is Ace and Ace is not the person I want to be.  I’ve been drowning in homework and other people’s problems which leaves no time for myself and the love of my life, fashion. I mean yeah, I have fashion homework everyday and I sit in a building surrounded by creative individuals which you’d think would be enough, but its not. I still find myself staring at the wall lost, counting each second on the clock just praying time would go faster, and laying around wondering how differently things would be if only…. Maybe I should have went to DAAP. I mean Kent is ranked amazingly and its an amazing program and they covered pretty much all of my tuition, but maybe staying in the city would have benefited me more. Maybe its the trees that are throwing me off. Maybe its the lack of noise. Maybe its the people I surround myself with. Maybe its me and its deeper than I realize. Im trying to stay patient and make the most out of each day, but the passion I had just a few months ago is gone... and I need it back. Desperately.]

What changed?

I then realize that I had no time to get inspired, and no time out to create what I wanted to create. I found that I was no longer excited to be at Kent because I lost my purpose for being there. I had more motivation to hang out and sleep than I did to work and create. I was lost in myself, I was consumed by everyone around me, and I was missing purpose. 

[Inside thoughts: Life is about making choices and sacrifices. I made the choice to come to college so that I can gain more knowledge and a better skill set towards my craft. In doing that I had to sacrifice working as a full time designer and photographer at the moment,

but ill be thankful for this opportunity and continue to make the most out of it because in the end it will all be worth it.]

Once I remembered my purpose for being in school, I had to remove any and everyone clouding this purpose. In doing this, I found solitude.

[Inside thoughts: During the first half of this semester I decided that I didn’t want to be in the mix of everything and just wanted to stay out of the social spotlight. I needed time for me to get back to who I was before I was exposed to all the things I could become. I’m learning myself and loving myself. I’ve surrounded myself with positivity and productivity and my days are so much brighter because of this. I’ve learned to experience the process that comes with growing through each day. I’ve learned to appreciate every misunderstanding, failure, hello, goodbye, and smiling face. I’m glowing through my mind, body and soul.

I found happiness in absence and solitude.]

August 2016 will mark the beginning of a new direction. I have found the balance, motivation, and passion I once had. 

"Life is our greatest lesson. Each year is a new book, each day is a new chapter and each situation is a new subject. 

Our teacher is time." - Aceani Michelle 

xo, Aceani Michelle

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